Index

Introduction

1: Opening Our Eyes

2: Lasting Pain

3: Clergy, in the Mirror

• Sitting Shiva
• Questions for Reflection

4: About Grief

5: What Families Need

6: What Congregations Can Do

7: Professional Help

8: Lessons Learned

Holding up the mirror - for Clergy

Questions for Reflection on “Sitting Shiva”:

1. Thinking back, what have your reactions been to the news about a pregnancy or infant loss?
2. How do you encourage families to share such news within your congregation?
3. Has your own family experienced such a loss? How does that affect your reactions to hearing this news from others?
4. What are ways that you can keep yourself from putting up the three obstacles to sitting shiva:
   1. running from the pain
   2. trying to explain the unexplainable
   3. blaming (the parents, the medical system, etc.)
5. What supports and self-care do you need and use to help you do this painful and difficult work?