Lack of knowledge about the grief process - age old wisdom

KNOWLEDGE QUIZ

Click on the answer you believe is correct for each question. Then click "Check your answers" at the bottom of the page to check your answers and read some explanations.

1. True or False? It is best to avoid discussing the death of a baby with other children.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is FALSE. Children should have the subject of death, the death of a baby, explained to them and their questions answered in a clear and direct manner. As they develop and mature they will need the death explained again and again as they reprocess it according to their developmental stage therefore discussing the death of the baby will become part of a continuum.
2. True or False? It is typical for a husband and wife to disagree or argue about how to grieve for their child.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is TRUE. Couples often disagree on many things, raising children, finances etc. They can also disagree on how to grieve. Each person is an individual.
3. True or False? Because a single person grieves at his/her own pace, it is easier than for a couple.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is TRUE. While it is devastating to have a baby die, a single person can focus on his or her own grieving and not be influenced by the needs of a partner. This also means that they also do not have the support of a partner either and have to make many decisions alone.
4. True or False? When talking to a person who is in the yearning and searching phase of grief, it is best to try to make him/her feel better by changing the subject.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is FALSE. A person in the yearning and searching phase, the second phase (Dr. Bolby) needs to express their feelings and sense of loss. It is often accompanied by physical symptoms such as aching arms, hearing a baby crying, etc. It is important to be present with the parent and listen.
5. True or False? If you can’t think of anything helpful to say to a grieving person, avoid talking to that person until you can come up with an appropriate comment.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is FALSE. Bereaved parents often feel isolated and alone. Avoiding them will make them feel even more isolated and alone. It is important to let them know that you are available to assist even if you do not have an appropriate comment.
6. True or False? It is important when talking with parents who’ve lost a baby to avoid using the baby’s name.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is FALSE. If bereaved parents have chosen to name their baby and they feel that using the baby’s name is acceptable within their cultural tradition, then it is appropriate to use the name of the baby. It often comforts the parents to hear the name aloud.
7. True or False? When a parent who has lost a baby says they feel they caused the baby’s death, it is important to contact authorities to investigate possible child abuse.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is FALSE. Many parents feel they did something or failed to do something that might have contributed to the death of their baby. Guilt is the most overwhelming emotion for parents. It is important to reassure them and let them know it is common for them to feel an overwhelming guilt.
8. True or False? It is important to understand my own feelings about death in order to help someone grieving for a loved one who has died.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is TRUE. While it may not be possible to have in-depth insight reading your feelings about death, it is important to have an understanding of your feelings and biases to be able to help others.
9. True or False? The grief process occurs in specific stages.
   1. True False
   2. The correct answer is FALSE. There are several thanatologists that have identified specific stages of death. You might be familiar with one of the most common which involves Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. These steps do not necessary come in the order listed, nor do all grievers experience them. The grieving process is rarely linear but much more dynamic with grievers moving in and out of different stages.
10. True or False? When grief is resolved it never comes up again.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE. Grief is a lifetime journey that is rarely resolved. It continues to impact and cause action and reaction throughout a person’s lifetime.
11. True or False? The intensity and length of your grief are a testimony to your love for the deceased.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE. Grief is an individual process and different people react in different ways.
12. True or False? Children grieve like adults.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE. Children grieve according to their developmental stage and should be provided guidance appropriately.
13. True or False? Infant death shouldn’t be difficult to resolve especially if it is a miscarriage.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE. Grief is an individual process and different people react in different ways.
14. True or False? Children need to be protected from death and grief.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE. Children need to be carefully guided in the process with consideration given to their developmental stages but death and grief does not need to be hidden from them.
15. True or False? Grieving is an individual and personal process.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is TRUE.
16. True or False? Men and women grieve differently.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is TRUE.
17. True or False? A common fear for bereaved parents is that they will forget the baby.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is TRUE.
18. True or False? There are unique issues of grief and bereavement related to infant losses that are stillbirth, miscarriages or SIDS.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is TRUE.
19. True or False? Couples who experience the death of a child have a higher divorce rate.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is TRUE. Statistically this is true. But the take home message should be that since they are now at greater risk, as a couple they need to address the issue and seek additional support.
20. True or False? All infant losses are the same.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE. Though there are common experiences within each loss is a unique experience just as each birth.
21. True or False? Alcohol and substance abuse is a normal part of the grieving process.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE.
22. True or False? A common concern for grievers is that they will be unable to bear the loss.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is TRUE.
23. True or False? Families of stillbirth babies should be discouraged from holding the baby or taking pictures.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE. Research indicates that it is helpful for some families to be encouraged to hold their babies and take pictures.
24. True or False? All bereaved parents grieve in the same way.
    1. True False
    2. The correct answer is FALSE. Grief is an individual process, therefore each person will grieve differently though they might be experiencing a similar loss.